LWYM Pure

Truth for Young Women

Confessions of a Youth Pastor…Entry #300

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A few years ago when the first Twilight movie debuted, I thought the film and stories were nonsensical. In fact, it never sparked any interest in me until someone I knew told me that I needed to see all of the movies in order to fully understand why everyone was raving about the series. So I did. She lent me all three films (Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse) and watched them all. I admit now that some red flags arose in my mind about the general plots and meanings, yet I kept disregarding the warning signs by telling myself, “It’s just a love story.” I was intrigued and allowed myself to be deceived. By then I was captivated by the films and I eventually purchased Breaking Dawn the book (early 2011) because I wanted to know what would happen next in the saga. The further I enthralled myself in the book, the more present the red flags were becoming and I continued to discount them by justifying the tale’s subliminal messaging as “a love story”. (Keep in mind that I am a youth leader’s wife and mother of two young children.)

Fast forward to the Breaking Dawn pt. 1 movie release in November of 2011. Not only did I go see the film on premiere night, but I took four young students with me that attend our Friday night youth meetings. The truth is that I supported the film’s message with my actions and gave a horrible example as a youth leader by taking a few students to accompany me. Compounding my mistake was the fact that the film’s content was darker than that of the book. While watching the feature I felt convicted that I should simply walk out of the theater. Nevertheless, I ignored my spirit and, instead of leading by example, I went against my better judgment and choose to stay. This error would slowly spiral down to a place that would mark my life until January 2012.

On January 8th, 2012, my pastor at Living Word Church preached a sermon on the “Light of Life”. In it he said something that pierced my soul and continues to do so till this very day. He stated (paraphrasing), “… to be a follower of Jesus Christ means to follow Him at all cost; come what may. Not on your terms or guidelines but on His.” I recognized that the Holy Spirit impressed upon my heart the fact that there were aspects of my Christian walk that needed drastic changes in order to truly follow Him. Part of that initial impression was what I should do with my being fascinated with the Twilight series. As I prayed one night, I asked for the Spirit’s guidance in order to write about a specific topic for the LWYM Pure website. Some options danced through my head and, quite frankly, none of them convinced me – that is until He lead me to write about Twilight.

At first, I hesitated to write anything about Twilight. Then as I conducted some extensive research on the series including the books, movies and its author (Stephanie Meyer), the more guilt and shame I felt for allowing myself to be drawn to such darkness. As I look back on my experiences now I can honestly say that I felt as though I slapped Jesus on the face by supporting such an evil message and endorsing a series that’s crafted to intentionally deceive. Once I realized how wrong I’d been all that time, I asked Jesus to forgive me and to lead me in what I should do next. Drastic measures were the only option. I threw away all the Blu-Ray movies that I purchased (Twilight, New Moon & Eclipse), the Breaking Dawn book, the Breaking Dawn souvenir cup that I had obtained when I went to see the film, background images that I had on my phone and e-reader, all of the Twilight e-books, and a ringtone of a song that was featured in the movies. As soon as such hindrances were eliminated from my life, I felt as though there was a weight lifted from my shoulders and I began seeing things from a clearer perspective.

You see, it’s a big deal when, as a Christian, you begin to make decisions without His guidance and instead rely on your flesh in order to judge. In doing so, you aren’t acknowledging God in all of your ways because you choose not to agree with a specific part of the biblical counsel which one doesn’t enjoy (Proverbs 3:5-6). Choosing to justify something that is wrong is wrong in and of itself. No questions asked! I thank the Lord that He opened my eyes and that His forgiveness cleansed me of such evil. Now I feel that I can truly walk with Jesus on His terms and that my walk has been made a whole lot lighter than before! And because He forgave me, I had to apologize to the young persons that came with me to go see Breaking Dawn pt.1. Not only should I have known better, but my example left a lot to be desired – especially coming from a youth leader. Praise the Lord that they all accepted my apology and that nothing changed between us all.   I pray that those of you who are enthralled in the Twilight  series to do your own research and tell me if you see no hidden message behind it? The truth will shock you!

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12

God bless,

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